Over the Christmas holiday, I was rankled yet again by the inappropriate use of BMI (body mass index). As I mentioned in my previous discourse on the subject, BMI is a guideline for entire populations, not individuals. So imagine my surprise when Wii Fit told me I was significantly overweight due to my high BMI, and saw fit to change my Mii into a chubster. Guess what, Wii Fit? I’m not a spry Japanese man. I am an oversized American man of Scottish heritage, and my feet don’t fit on to your precious fucking balance board.

I’m especially disappointed with this application of BMI as a lot of kids play Wii Fit. BMI doesn’t take into account the physiques of children, which are markedly different, and apparently Wii Fit doesn’t take into account the physiques of Americans. Now, I don’t want to defend the US too vigorously, as we are a fat, fat country. Oh my are we ever rotund. But this is creating a weight problem where there is none. People are differently shaped. People from different parts of the world, doubly so. So maybe Nintendo takes a few extra days of programming time to come up with a slightly differently way to measure how overweight someone is for the sake of accuracy. Because now my Mii is much fatter than anyone on my brother’s Wii, and let’s just say that’s not necessarily the case in real life (sorry bro).