High School Musical, like it or not, represents an enormously powerful and lucrative brand for Disney. I’ve tried to find numbers on how much cash that the behemoth (set to pop with its third incarnation coming to theaters today) has brought in, but no dice. I did see that the combined budgets of all three films are still under $25 million, so to say that Disney has likely made its money back on the franchise is, if anything, a gross understatement. Admittedly, the first two installments were television-only (big cost cut there), and their entire cast was essentially a non-entity prior to the first one (and are likely to still be under the same contract for this third one, hence the budget of a paltry $14 mil for HSM3). But I’m guessing the gross of the franchise is probably closing in on the billion mark faster than you’d think.

The success of High School Musical is perhaps surprising in its breadth, but not on its principle. Good-looking teens singing inoffensive, reasonably catchy songs about chaste love and being ready for things is a formula that has worked for decades. Packaging it as a story is hardly news either. But Disney managed to drop HSM on cable for free, where it is eminently accessible, and frequently available for re-watching. If it weren’t Disney we’re talking about it, I’d almost lump it in with my post about Dr. Horrible a few weeks ago. They created the product first, and then built the demand by repeated free exposure. No mean feat.

They did have the Disney hype machine at work for the first one, but it still had to catch on with kids. As we know, it premiered well, but grew in popularity in the weeks/months following, and as such, HSM2 was a veritable cable smash. Plus, sales of the soundtracks (although trim for musicals at just over 10 songs a piece) have been huge as well. I don’t think either of them are too compelling story-wise, but let’s be honest: Despite being called High School Musical, they’ve been designed for younger kids. Such is the Disney way, but it left me thinking there is an underserved market of actual teenagers who could use a musical of their own.

A couple weeks ago, my friend Maggie got us free tickets to see the teen (tween?) musical, 13, about average New York teen who gets displaced to the middle of the Dust Bowl by his parents’ divorce. As he tries to convince kids at his new school to come to his bar mitzvah, he learns the requisite teenage lessons of trust, doing what’s right over doing what’s cool, and not being a douche. The “gimmick” of the show is that it has an entirely teenage cast, including the on-stage band, who are brimming over with enthusiasm. Make no mistake, it is a delight. Would I advocate getting $110 tickets to it over something else on Broadway? Well… that’s a tough sell. But in terms of something that is likely to engage a teenage audience on Broadway, it’s certainly up there. But due to the extreme prices for tickets on the Great White Way, and the admittedly narrow appeal of 13, I doubt it will last. Which is a shame, because I think it’s several orders of magnitude better than High School Musical.

I am against talking down to teens. I think young people are much, much smarter than mass media gives them credit for, and while they may not have the experience necessary to be truly discerning purveryors of popular media, I want to believe that if given a choice, tweens would prefer 13 over HSM. It’s an improvement in almost every regard. It feels significantly more authentic to my own teenage experience as opposed to the slick fantasy of HSM. Unlike most Disney productions for teens, all the kids (nerds included) talk about making out, etc. Which, if you remember high school, was something that came up all the damn time.

Unfortunately, since 13 touches on the sexual (as well as having some other perfectly reasonable behavior that ditches the G-rating), it will never be acceptable in some people’s eyes as entertainment for the teen and pre-teen set. I’m sure the idea of having a first act in which the main character’s task is to trick his mother into getting everyone into an R-rated movie so that people can make out is horrifying to more conservative parents. But c’mon, it’s what being a teenager is all about. Plus, it’s funny. This bias against the reality of the situation is a shame, because I think kids from 10-17 can learn a lot more from 13 than they can from HSM. Plus, as I’ve mentioned, the music and plot are miles better. I’ve been trying to write this in a more succinct way for weeks and I’ve failed, so here’s my best effort on it to date. I hope to always promote quality diversions for my kids as opposed to the ones that meet public muster, because 13 is likely to die an early death while HSM will probably still be going when I have kids.